Sirius Was Coming Over/The Night I Lost it All
by Mrs. Norris1
Summary: A story/poem from Remus Lupin's POV about the night James and Lily died...very sad! Please Read!


The Night I Lost it All

Sirius Was Coming Over

Sirius was coming over. He was going to make a quick stop and then head for Remus Lupin's house. Lily and James couldn't come, of course, it was Harry's first Halloween and Lily had insisted upon dressing Harry up in some ridiculous costume and dragging him to all the muggle houses nearby for candy. James had secretly told Remus it was a load of rubbish and not to mention a word of it to Lily. She still celebrated her strange muggle customs. 

Remus and Sirius, however, were going to gorge themselves on chocolate frogs and butterbeer, then sneak out at midnight and fling toilet paper over neighboring houses. This was a muggle custom the Marauders had enjoyed ever since they graduated from Hogwarts. 

Peter had said he was busy, though doing what Remus could never guess. He and Sirius had joked that he was busy magicking his hair back on, as it had already started to fall out at the ripe old age of 23. 

Sirius was coming over. He was supposed to be there at half past ten so that would have enough time to share some stories, eat, and dress themselves in all black for their midnight capers. But it was now eleven o'clock. Remus wasn't worried. Sirius was notorious for being late and a "quick stop" for him would most likely last an hour. This was usually either because no one ever wanted Sirius to leave, or Sirius insisted upon staying. It was almost impossible to dislike Sirius. He had an intense charisma and a joy for life that was obvious when you simply looked at him. He was also the most steadfast person Remus knew. 

Sirius was coming over. Sure, he was now two hours late, but Sirius never missed a party, however small it might be, especially if it involved toilet paper. Sirius could think up endless antics with toilet paper when he was truly bored. He and James had once tied up Severus Snape in it and hung him out of a second floor window. They had strengthened the thin paper with magic, of course, but they still ordered Remus and Peter to stand guard below in case he fell. They wouldn't have been much help, though, seeing as they were busy rolling on the ground laughing. They laughed even harder when James, who was especially skilled in Transfiguration, turned the toilet paper into a very large snake. 

Know-it-all Lily Evans had strolled in at that point, surveying the scene. It had happened in their second year when James and Lily weren't dating yet. There was immense animosity between the Marauders and Lily. They had expected her to immediately help Snape and call a teacher, but she didn't. In fact, she walked determinedly up to the window and muttered something. Lily was exceptionally gifted in Charms, and they realized that she had put a tickling charm on Snape when he began to laugh, his face a hilarious contortion of terror, anger, and painful mirth.

Sirius was coming over. But by 1:30, Remus had fallen asleep.

There was a knock on the door. 

"I'm coming, hold on," said Remus hoarsely as he tumbled off the couch. Birds were singing and there was light outside the window. Sirius hadn't arrived till morning. Remus, still groggy from sleep, opened the door.

"Where've you been, Padfoot? I was up half the night waiting- Oh, it's you, Albus!" Remus was surprised to see not his friend Sirius, but Albus Dumbledore. "Come on in, sit down, have some tea! I was waiting for Sirius, he never showed up last night, but you know him. Never know when to count on him" Remus stopped. Something was wrong. Dumbledore's face held something Remus had never seen before. It was something like deep sorrow and rage mixed together.

He sighed. "Sit down please, Remus." Remus sat. "Now, I don't know how to tell you this, but"

"What is it?" Remus interrupted. "Is Sirius all right?"

"Not exactly. Oh dear," said Dumbledore as he sighed again. "Remus, oh I'm so sorry, but Lily and James aredead."

Remus sat, stunned. No, he was still asleep. This wasn't happening. Why should Albus Dumbledore show up suddenly on his doorstep and announce that two of his best friends are dead? 

"No," Remus said quietly. "No, they're not." Another thought crossed his mind. "And Sirius would never tell, Albus, I know he wouldn't. He treasures James' and Lily's lives like his own. He would never do that. Never."

But the solemn look on Dumbledore's face told him it was true. There was something else he had to say as well. But he seemed to be holding back.

"What is it?" Remus asked abrubtly.

"Remus, it's Peter. This morning, very early, Sirius murdered Peter and a dozen other muggles."

"No. Oh God, no" Remus muttered. "Butno, no! Why?!" He was now getting frantic. It just couldn't be true. It couldn't be. It couldn't be. "W-what are they doing with Sirius?"

"Remus, you know. They don'tlet crimes like that go. He blew up the entire street."

"Azkaban?" whispered Remus softly, looking into Dumbledore's crystalline blue eyes that usually held such reassurance and light. They were now dark and almost tearful. He nodded. 

Suddenly, something seemed to grab at Remus' heart. "Harry! What about Harry?"

Dumbledore's voice was soft now. "Remus, he can't stay with you. I know it's hard for you to hear, but you know you can't have a baby in your home. If you ever bit himAnyhow, it's all arranged"

Remus was shocked. "He lived? How did Harry live?"

"I don't know. No one knows. Remus, it sounds hard to believe, but Voldemort is gone. Somethingabout Harrywell, it's been arranged. He's going to live with his muggle relatives."

Remus was surprised and amazed and horrified and sorrowful. Then a horrible thought crept into his mind. He would never see any of then againever. He would never see Lily's beautiful auburn hair and how silly she looked next to James with his messy mane. He never see that look Sirius got when he had a planthe way his bright blue eyes glinted evilly. He'd never see chubby little Peter and the terrified look he always had whenever they went rule-breaking. He'd never see Lily and James kiss. He'd never see Harry laugh. He'd neverit was too much. He started to cry and the pain was tightening around his heart and his lungs and he couldn't breathe. So he sat and started the night over again. None of this had happened. 

Sirius was coming over. 

__

Three are gone

And one lives on

But the life he lives is just so wrong

All that's left

Is blood and skin

Oh please God help the world we're in

The night is dark

The night is cold

That night is getting much too old

Three are dead

And I walk on

But I've been walking much too long..

The truth is strong

I'm prone to lies

But I can't deny those stinging eyes

The night was crisp

The owls cried

And on that night I wish I died

The night I lost it all.


End file.
